hi m_____ sometimes it takes me a few days to respond to people. sometimes it's hard even when they are in the room with me. today i was looking at my computer and trying to figure out some wierd piece of code or something and i had my headphones on. and then suddenly i realized there was a person standing next to me and he was tugging at my headphones and trying to get my attention and i don't know how long he was there for. but it was harold, from our new york office, one of my favorite people here and i was very glad to see him. i should have realized sooner.

listen, here's one important thing that i have to tell someone so that i don't forget it. becuase i always have lots of doubts about my work and my writing and my future and what i want to do and all that, but here's one thing i realized. i'm very good at using whatever talents i do have very effectively. or to put it another way, i am aware of what i can do, i used to see my talents or the extent of my talents, as limitations, but i'm getting better every day at using them effectively. to take what i think are liabilities and use them as assets.

examples:

writing. i can't think of plots. i'm terrible at creating interesting characters. but i have a good ear for language and eye for interesting imagery. so that is what I use. and although lots of times i have lots of doubts really i'm not too bad at it. i'm better than most, actually. you will see.

web design. i'm a lousy designer. i have had lots of people who wanted websites, and wanted me to come up with some designs for them, and they always hate my designs. i can't design websites for other people. that has been part of my problem at work. but that is just because i have a very specific aesthetic and i know what i like, and i think what i like is better than what a lot of other people like. so i have to cultivate for myself the kinds of things that i think go into a good design, and so what if i just do them for myself. i'm developing some interesting ideas, and they're pretty original too. i'll never be able to design a typical corporate website, and probably no one will every hire me to design a NONtypical corporate website but so what. their loss.

to summarize: I have to remember to use what I have. I think everyone does. i'm getting way better at it.

okay!!!!

this email answers none of the questions you asked.

love,